November 3, 2006

Hello All

You may have noticed that the two previous blogs I submitted appear to have had some kind of translation problem. I know that some of the population find it difficult to understand me at times, hence the need for the translation service. I will not mention any names here as I would not dream of stooping to the levels of the gutter, where the two individuals obviously reside.

I would like it to be known that the first translator service I employed came across a rather unfortunate accident. My right boot accidentally slipped and somehow, with extreme force, came into contact with his extremely large nose. Needless to say this prevented him or her (check out the dewey eyed photograph in the 1,000,000 point WAAAGH! The Challenge) from performing any translation services for the foreseeable future.

There is a saying “That lightning does not strike twice.” I don’t believe this because a similar accident befell my second translating service. Whilst admiring the vast quantity of Wood Elves this individual has managed to paint my left fist accidentally slipped and came into contact with his throat. Once again this should prevent him from performing any kind of translation in the future. In my world lightning can strike again and again and again if necessary. In true English style, plans have already been set in motion to have their villages burnt to the ground. (Apologies in advance to the Guelph and Mississauga Fire Departments)!

I do find it necessary to retract one of the statements mentioned in the previous blogs. It regards a certain football team that I can’t even bring myself to type. They are in no way shape or form ACE. Just remembering what was written in the previous blogs is making me feel all accident prone. By the way Football is a game played with your feet and a ball, I find the name is a bit of a clue.

Oh I have finished painting my skeleton unit.

P.S. If you see Cory Burns at Conflict Montreal be careful not to touch his nose. It is very sore.

P.P.S It’s also a good job that Dave Noyle specialises in the printed word. Because he is unable to speak at the moment

P.P.P.S Cor blimey I love me Birdies.

October 27, 2006

Cor Blimey! Another bloomy week ‘as passed and I still be paintin’ me old bones. As I ‘ave loads of Carrions in me army I ‘ave purchased a pair of lovely owls to ‘elp me wid me paintin’! Dem birds is full of diamond ideas, and wonderful plumage.

Dis weekend I be playing old scurvy Cory Burns in the millions point Waaagh! I hopes I win as Cory ‘as promised me a shiny golden slug wearing a silver hat if I win. The rest of the weekend I’s going to spend paintin’ me Tomb Kings back to brown again, maybe next week I’ll paint ‘em all red like that ace team Man United!

Craig Bodycote ‘as told me that ‘is Dwarfs is way the best, but I knows better and I’m going to steal ‘is lawn just to prove it to him.

Laters!

October 20, 2006

Pip Pip Cheerio,

Yet another fortnight ‘as passed and I’m still paintin’ me War ‘ammer Fancy army the Tomb Kings. Blimey there is a lot of chariots in the army. I ‘ave’nt got that much done as I ‘ave been watching too much teley. Benny Hill and footie is alls I like, bloomy that Man U is ace. I ‘ave decided to prime the army black, then air brush it brown so that I can paint most of the army black again. I don’t know why, I ‘m old and easily confused. Me plan to cover most of the army in sand to reduce painting is absolutely marvelous and is making my life easier than an easy thing. I was plannin’ on speaking bout tactics, but will write a treatise on the Tomb Kings laters.

I am starting to lose sleep at night as me army is too full of chariots and birds, man I am a nasty bloke.

That be all apples and roses, stay happy, happy, joy, joy.

Cheerio mate.

September 25, 2006

Hi I’m Fat Gaz. You may have seen me at such films as Conflict Toronto, Conflict Montreal and the Veterans Challenge.

I have decided to enter this painting challenge because I would be painting a new army anyway and I thought it would be a good way of setting myself a deadline. Normally my deadlines are 3 hours before the start of a big tournament. As we are having a big tournament on the 2nd December in the Oakville bunker I hope to finish this army at least 4 hours before the deadline. You never know, I might even get a new battalion out of it too.

Why am I choosing Tomb Kings as the army for this challenge? I could go on forever telling you that ever since I was a small child I have loved Egyptology and studied Hieroglyphics. (editors note, Gaz was never small and when he was a child Hieroglyphics was the only language available) However the real reason is that I could bury half of my army in sand and thus reduce the amount of time I actually spend painting.

The units I have chosen are all about speed. Those who know my armies will vouch for the fact that they are speedy. Although the Tomb kings can’t march with magic they can move mighty fast. My carrion are in units of six because if they get behind your units these cannot then choose flee as a reaction as they will automatically die. This makes fleeing from my chariots a tougher decision. Nobody ever said I was nice!!!

I have heard that there may be lots of banter flying around but I would like to rise above all of that nonsense. At least until next week anyway...